Fake 24 [Voice/Action]
Jun. 20th, 2012 06:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
personafalsify[ Backdated to the morning after CJ's announcement ]
[ She hadn't been there when he got up in the morning. He'd checked, halfheartedly, for signs that she was still around. But he'd done his best not to get his hopes up... and in the end, maybe that was for the best.
When he addresses the journal, it's clear that Kohan's upset, even though he's doing his best to keep his voice level. ]
To anyone who knew her... Namine's... gone back home.
... Guess that's it.
Oh, right. Good luck to those of you going out to fight.
[ He'll be brooding for a couple hours before going out to train by the barracks as usual... though today he's more distracted than normal and quits soon after lunchtime. He's markedly absent from his little corner of the library that evening. ]
[ She hadn't been there when he got up in the morning. He'd checked, halfheartedly, for signs that she was still around. But he'd done his best not to get his hopes up... and in the end, maybe that was for the best.
When he addresses the journal, it's clear that Kohan's upset, even though he's doing his best to keep his voice level. ]
To anyone who knew her... Namine's... gone back home.
... Guess that's it.
Oh, right. Good luck to those of you going out to fight.
[ He'll be brooding for a couple hours before going out to train by the barracks as usual... though today he's more distracted than normal and quits soon after lunchtime. He's markedly absent from his little corner of the library that evening. ]
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-22 03:57 am (UTC)[Ion can tell clearly enough that he's not as calm as he's trying to pretend to be. But Ion doesn't respond right away. Maybe it's that mention of the draft at the end, but... he can tell Kohan is hurting, and the last thing he wants to do is burden Kohan with his own issues right now.]
[It'll be about and hour or so after the initial message that Ion replies.]
Kohan?
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-22 10:27 am (UTC)He sounds less upset, but at this point... he's more numb than anything else. ]
Hey. What's up?
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-23 12:12 pm (UTC)[A pause, as though hesitating to add -- he sounded a little better now, but even so:] I heard your message over the journal earlier... are you going to be all right?
[The question itself is more of a formality... in truth, it's an invitation to talk if Kohan needs it.]
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-23 01:50 pm (UTC)[ He's torn between acknowledging how upset he is, and ignoring it. Ignoring it hurts less... but it also doesn't feel right. ]
I didn't think it would hurt as much the second time.
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-23 02:13 pm (UTC)[It was easy for the ones who were sent home. They wouldn't remember what they lost. But for those left behind, there as nothing but the pain of missing those who weren't there anymore...]
...would you like some company? [...] I don't know if there's anything that can make it easier... but sometimes it helps to have someone there.
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-23 02:17 pm (UTC)... [ But there's a lot that Ventus doesn't understand. And besides, this had to be affecting him, too. She'd been his housemate as well, at least. ]
Company might be nice.
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-23 02:28 pm (UTC)[He's already getting reading to leave, picking up his journal to talk as he goes.]
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-23 02:32 pm (UTC)... Thanks, Ion.
[Voice]
Date: 2012-06-23 02:50 pm (UTC)I should be there in a few minutes.
[And true to his word, he arrives in about 15 minutes, only a little out of breath. Knock knock?]
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-23 03:02 pm (UTC)You okay?
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-23 03:19 pm (UTC)[Action]
Date: 2012-06-23 03:40 pm (UTC)Come on in. [ He moves aside to allow Ion to enter. ]
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 05:46 am (UTC)[He's not going to force him to talk about it if he doesn't want to. He can be a shoulder to lean on or a distraction to keep him mind off of things.]
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 07:21 am (UTC)I really don't know.
[ He pauses, then walks towards their couch and sits. ]
Did I ever... tell you how my memories were different? From the original's.
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 07:55 am (UTC)[As far as Ion knew, the "wrong" memories that Kohan had were simply Riku's memories... but were even those memories "fake" as well?]
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 08:47 am (UTC)That girl... that was Namine. And the truth is... she was never there.
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 10:06 am (UTC)[A false memory of a friendship that never existed? And Kohan still had these memories... it was no wonder he had asked about removing them over the journals before. It sounded so sad.]
[He speaks gently, knowing that this must be a painful topic for Kohan... how else could it have never come up before now?] Does that mean she had those memories as well?
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 10:33 am (UTC)[ He keeps his gaze on the ground, though his voice is holding steady... for now. ]
She knew what the fake memories were. But she didn't have them herself. She just... went along with it. I think... she had no choice.
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 01:39 pm (UTC)[It'd be a lie for him to say he wasn't curious about Kohan's past, but he doesn't want to ask anything that may upset him more than he is already is. He's choosing his questions carefully.]
How did you find out? Was it after you had already arrived in Luceti, or...
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 03:31 pm (UTC)I ran into the real one. When I didn't believe him... Namine told me herself. That was... the previous time she was here.
I don't know if I would have believed anyone but her. That was... that's how strongly I believed it.
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-26 07:38 am (UTC)I don't think anyone could blame you for that. [Whether they were real or not, they were still his memories... they were what he remembered. For someone to be told their life was a lie...? It only makes sense that he was hesitant to believe anyone at first.]
What happened after she told you?
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-27 10:07 am (UTC)I was angry. For a long time. I didn't even consider how she must have felt... and before I'd even realized it, she went home.
[Action]
Date: 2012-07-03 09:53 am (UTC)[There's another question lingering in the back of his mind, but it just didn't seem right to ask. He was fairly certain he already knew his answer... Kohan's had said, after all, that he hadn't been in that previous form until he came to Luceti.]
Were you able to talk to her about it after she came back?
[Action]
Date: 2012-07-07 04:15 am (UTC)Maybe he wanted to believe he'd always have the chance to talk, and if that were true, why not just wait another day? There was no harm in it. No harm in it, except... ]
I avoided talking about it. Always figured I'd bring it up... [ He makes a soft noise. ] well, it doesn't matter now.
[Action]
Date: 2012-07-17 06:30 am (UTC)[Gently, Ion sets a hand on his shoulder.]
...she might still be brought back someday?
[Action]
Date: 2012-07-17 06:45 am (UTC)Even if she is... I don't know what she'll remember next time. Or how long it will be until she goes back again. [ His hands tighten into fists on his lap. ] This place is better than Castle Oblivion, but what about what happens to her after that? If she gets a better life, then I shouldn't even be hoping she'll come back here...
[Action]
Date: 2012-07-17 06:57 am (UTC)[Maybe so. But there wasn't anything wrong with being selfish now and then, right?]
Even so, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be with the people you care about.
[Action]
Date: 2012-07-17 07:34 am (UTC)[Action] /shhh this isn't late
Date: 2012-08-07 09:49 am (UTC)She was staying here with you, wasn't she? I don't think she would have stayed by your side if she hated you.
[Action] /shhh neither is this
Date: 2012-09-12 04:44 am (UTC)[ what is self-confidence and where do I get some ]
I don't even know what she knows of me outside my own memories. How did we really meet? What did she think of the person I was before I was Riku? I want to know, but... I don't think I should ask. ... Can't anymore, anyway.
[Action]
Date: 2012-09-12 06:19 am (UTC)Even if you aren't the same as you were before, you're still you. It doesn't matter what sort of person you used to be... because I know the person sitting next to me right now is kind, caring, and a great friend. And should she return to Luceti, there's nothing stopping you from starting over. Not as "Riku" and Namine, but as Kohan and Namine.
[Ion knew Kohan had told her his new name -- his real name, as far as he's concerned -- and even after hearing that, she stayed. Could it really be excused as mere "familiarity" if Kohan himself told her he knew he was a different person now?]
Perhaps she realized that herself, and that's why she decided to stay with you?
[Action]
Date: 2012-09-12 11:14 pm (UTC)[ Or maybe it is, but his head certainly isn't letting him think so. ]
I... There's just so much I put off doing. I took for granted... that she'd be here for a while. But she wasn't.
[Action] /the comment dates are a lie, shhhh....
Date: 2012-10-07 01:26 am (UTC)...you can't punish yourself for something you have no control over. It hurts to know you've let an opportunity pass you by... but all you can do now is move forward. And know that next time, you won't make the same mistake.
It's the nature of this place, after all. I know it's hard to believe now... but I know there will be a "next time" for you. [He gently squeezes Kohan's shoulder.] I'm sure of it.
[Action] /of course, of course...
Date: 2012-10-07 07:45 am (UTC)And I can't just spring it on her, either...