Appointment Post

[personafalsify]

Appointment Post for Replica Riku.

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[personafalsify]

No, it's--... it's not that. I was just thinking about... how we can never really be sure of anything here. One day you could wake up, and... everything you knew yesterday was a lie. It's... hard to move forward like that, I guess.

[distressedude]

...you're right. Maybe we can never be truly sure so long as we live here.

[The hand holding onto Kohan's tightens its grip as he leans closer, pulling Kohan's hand close to his heart.]

But six months later, I still feel just as strongly as I did the day I told you how I felt about you. Perhaps even more so now than before... because even when my memories were still in pieces, I knew I had to find you. How I felt about you before was the only thing I knew had to be true.

[personafalsify]

[ It doesn't set his fears to rest. And really, maybe that's a part of him that will never get better. It seems like the only time when he's not questioning what parts of his past are fabricated is when he's living a fabricated life. But not even that is a guarantee at any point. ]

... Thanks, Ion. I think... what I'm really most afraid of right now is losing you. Losing... what we have right now.

I don't want that to disappear one day like so many other things I once remembered.

[distressedude]

It won't disappear.

[He says it strongly, with as much certainty as he can muster. He knows this is something Kohan will probably be plagued with for a long time -- it's only natural given what he's lived through. That just means Ion will just have to believe strongly enough for both of them.]

I can't tell you what will happen in the future. Even if it were possible to read the future here, there'd still be no way to know for sure. But no matter what happens, the fact that we were both here... that we were together... that won't just disappear.

Even if only our hearts remember.

[personafalsify]

[ Yeah you know what Ion.

You're getting pulled into a hug now.

A manly hug full of manly manfeels and testosterone and all that. But a hug. ]

[distressedude]

[The hug happens so suddenly he barely has time to react. But when he does, he leans into it, wrapping his arms around Kohan and resting his head against his shoulder.]

[He doesn't know if the words sunk in this time or not, but he doesn't mind saying them over and over until they do. It was just how he really felt, after all.]

[personafalsify]

[ "Sunk in" is probably the wrong word for it, since it's going to be a long time until he believes those words. But it certainly strikes a chord with him. A powerful, painful chord that brings up far too many memories of people no longer in Luceti.

He doesn't want to lose Ion as well. ]

... Just... give me a moment.

[ A moment to feel that Ion's really here, with him. Even if it won't take too long before the memories of today, too, are fretted over and worried about, for now he wants to feel secure that this is something real. ]

[distressedude]

[Ion doesn't let go. He had no intention of pulling away, even before Kohan said something.]

I'm here. [His voice is soft, barely a whisper in Kohan's ear.] Take all the time you need.

[personafalsify]

[ It scares him that he knows he'll worry about this being fake. He can feel it right now, in this moment, that it's really happening. But this moment has to end, and then all that will be left of it are memories. Memories that can be forged and faked, shuffled around to create something entirely different from the truth until he isn't even sure which way is up anymore. That fear was something heavy and oppressive that he just can't get rid of.

In many ways, it's a part of who he is.

He may not be Riku anymore, but he's still Riku's replica.

But he knows this moment has to end, so he slowly lets go of Ion. ]

... Maybe I should put another movie on.

[ To get his mind off of this. ]

[distressedude]

I think that's a great idea. [With a smile, as he keeps one hand on Kohan's back even as he pulls away.] It's still early, after all. We have plenty of time for another one.

[Though they could spend the whole night watching movies together and Ion wouldn't mind at all. They've probably done it at least once before. They weren't like anything they had back on Auldrant, after all, so he found them so interesting!]

[personafalsify]

Yeah.

[ He hesitates for a moment, then stands up and grabs a random one from the shelf. ]

... Pretty sure this is one of Ven's. What do you think?

[ He holds out the movie so Ion can take a look. It's a pretty generic-looking romantic comedy. ]

[distressedude]

[Generic to Kohan maybe but Ion will forever be impressed at how they get the pictures of the tiny people to move inside the mysterious not!fon machine.]

That one looks good to me. Let's watch it!

[And while Kohan sets that up, he's just going to rearrange the pillows and blankets and such on the couch to make for the perfect spot for a cuddlepile.]

[personafalsify]

[ Which means that once Kohan finishes starting up the movie, he's going to turn back to find... ]

... Really, Ion?

[ But he doesn't actually sound too annoyed at all, as he moves in next to Ion in the space made for him. ]

[distressedude]

[What 'chu got against pillows, Kohan? Ion just smiles in response, waiting for Kohan to get situated before leaning against him and pulling a blanket over his shoulders -- nice and cozy!]

[And so the movie starts, setting up the plot pretty early on: guy meets girl, goofy things happen, it looks like they'll never get together, and then they do. But while the plot is somewhat generic, Ion looks akin to a little kid who just walked into a candy store for the first time -- as he always did when watching movies.]

[Though as the story starts to reach it's resolution and the main pair leans in for the big kiss scene, there was definitely a blush on Ion's face. He can't help but feel very aware of just how close he's sitting to Kohan right now.]

[personafalsify]

[ Meanwhile Kohan... is very much not as impressed by the movie as Ion. But that just means that every so often he can sneak a sideways glance to get a look at that expression of wonder. It's more than enough to give him a little smile, too.

But come kiss time, Ion isn't the only one aware of just how close the two of them are. And the arm that has snuck its way around Ion's shoulders tenses a little, unconsciously pulling Ion a fraction closer to Kohan as the two main characters close the gap on screen. ]

[distressedude]

[When Ion feels the tug of Kohan's arm, he looks away from the screen and instead up at Kohan. No matter how interesting he found the film in front of them to be, it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without being here in Kohan's arms. Perhaps it was just the mood of the movie getting to him, with it's soft romantic soundtrack playing in background, but the moment he looked up he could't help but want to do something more than just watch someone else have their happily-ever-after kiss.]

[He shifts a bit before resting a hand on Kohan's shoulder, hoping to pull his attention down as he leans up a bit closer towards his face.]

[personafalsify]

[ The hand on his shoulder does catch his attention, and without really looking first Kohan leans down a little and turns towards Ion.

Unfortunately, between Ion leaning up and Kohan leaning down, they've already closed what little space remained between them. Kohan startles as his nose hits against Ion's, not hard at all but still not what he was expecting. ]

--Whoa! Sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean...!

1/2

[distressedude]

[SUDDENLY BOYFRIEND RIGHT IN HIS FACE.]

[He can't help a small "eep" when they make contact, even if it doesn't do much more but surprise him.]

[Wait, what is Kohan apologizing for?]

[distressedude]

[...]

[And then he just laughs, shaking his head.]

That's all right. Let's just try again.

[And with that, he reaches out to put a hand on Kohan's cheek before leaning in to kiss him.]

[personafalsify]

[ He was apologizing for hurting you, okay.

But this. This is alright. Kohan is okay with this.

He only partially notices the movie's soundtrack still playing as he pulls Ion a little closer. He places his free hand on Ion's hip and closes his eyes as he kisses back.

For all his worrying, there was really no denying how happy it made him just to know that Ion was here with him right now. At least for the moment, that felt like more than enough for Kohan. ]

[distressedude]

[Kohan was hardly the only one feeling happy right now. Ion never realized how nice it was to kiss the person you loved, knowing they loved you back. Sure the experiments had given him the illusion of it, but somehow even that ahdn't been nearly as good as the real thing. Perhaps that's why he felt so certain that this was real.]

[As he caresses Kohan's cheek with one hand, his other moves from Kohan's shoulder to around his back, just above his wings. Somewhere in the back of his mind it occurs to him that someone else lives here, but at this point it's just kissing, so it's fine!]

[personafalsify]

[ Ven knows what kissing is! Nothing to worry about!

Unfortunately for Kohan, not even the power of True Love or whatever was enough to dislodge the doubt in his mind, built up and reinforced over the course of three long years in Luceti. But kissing was good enough to make him forget about it for the moment.

Kohan responds by tightening his grip on Ion's hip for a second, then shifting so that they're moved just a bit closer to each other. He couldn't really deny how nice it felt when Ion was pressed up against him, the warmth enjoyable and reassuring. ]

[distressedude]

[Well, if Kohan wanted them to be closer, he just needed to say so! But seeing as there isn't much talking going on right now, Ion takes the initiative himself to essentially straddle one of Kohan's legs, giving them both a better angle to work with. A bit more intimate than usual, but perhaps it was just the influence of that movie in tandem with their earlier conversation at work here.]

[And all the while he manages not to break the kiss, now running his hand up through Kohan's hair.]

[personafalsify]

[ Ion might not have broken the kiss, but Kohan does, because those hands in his hair combined with Ion's closeness means he's starting to react. And that's a route he's not entirely sure they're ready for yet.

So instead he breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against Ion's, only then realizing he's started breathing heavily.

Give him a second to calm down okay. ]

[distressedude]

[Ion opens his eyes when Kohan pulls back, his hand now just running down the back of Kohan's head over his hair -- perhaps a bit more comforting than sensual.]

[But he can feel Kohan's breath hot on his lips with every breath he takes, and that was enough to keep the blush on his face going strong. He keeps his voice low and soft, almost a whisper.]

...do you want to keep going? We can stop if this is too much.