Appointment Post

[personafalsify]

Appointment Post for Replica Riku.

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Comments

[personafalsify]

A good thing? I was... [ and something twists in his stomach, making him feel a bit queasy as he thinks about it. It's still so hard to admit. ] I was really mad at you.

[distressedude]

[Aww, Kohan.]

...I know. I'm not saying I enjoyed it either, but... I think if we hadn't, we might have done something that we'd be regretting now.

[personafalsify]

I don't know about you, but I'm... not really proud of some of the things I said then.

[distressedude]

And I helped Sync pickpocket an innocent stranger. We weren't ourselves that week.

[But he is going to reach out and take his hand, giving it a bit of a squeeze.]

But that's... not exactly what I meant when I said we might have done something we'd regret.

[personafalsify]

[ ... yeah sorry Ion you distracted him there ]

You pickpocketed? You?

[distressedude]

Well... technically Sync was the one who stole the wallet. I tried giving it back after he had already taken the money out of it, but that just got us both in trouble. We had to run to the other side of town to get away...

[A pause. Somehow, hearing it out-loud like that--]

I suppose it does sound a little unbelievable, doesn't it?

[personafalsify]

More than a little. I guess... yeah. Wow. I can't even imagine you doing anything like that.

[distressedude]

It wasn't exactly my proudest moment... [With a soft laugh.]

Still, better that than what I had planned for us that night after the dance.

[personafalsify]

[ Ion were you going to come over and pickpocket his house-- ]

Huh? What's that mean?

[distressedude]

Well, I did say something about sneaking you into my room, didn't I? I was actually rather serious when I said that...

[And he had meant that night as well.]

[personafalsify]

You--

[ Oh, yup. Now it's clicking. Ion can probably tell by the way Kohan's face is slowly turning redder and redder. ]

You're serious?

[distressedude]

I was serious at the time, yes. But...

[A-Ah, looking up and seeing Kohan's face turning red is having just about the same effect on Ion now. He looks down to try and hide it.]

...that's why I'm glad we were fighting. I wouldn't want that-- ah, what I mean is, I wouldn't want our first time to be... when we aren't ourselves.

[personafalsify]

[ And then the color drains immediately! Because the idea of going there with Ion is suddenly overtaken by Kohan's mostly-diminished but still ever-present fear that this will one day turn out to be some sort of long, sick, Malnosso experimental joke. ]

... Yeah... you're right. That'd be... [ a problem. To put it mildly. ]

[distressedude]

[Unfortunately, Ion's not exactly a mind reader. And though he might understand part of the real reason for that reaction, for the most part...]

...I'm sorry. Should I have not brought it up? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

[personafalsify]

No, it's--... it's not that. I was just thinking about... how we can never really be sure of anything here. One day you could wake up, and... everything you knew yesterday was a lie. It's... hard to move forward like that, I guess.

[distressedude]

...you're right. Maybe we can never be truly sure so long as we live here.

[The hand holding onto Kohan's tightens its grip as he leans closer, pulling Kohan's hand close to his heart.]

But six months later, I still feel just as strongly as I did the day I told you how I felt about you. Perhaps even more so now than before... because even when my memories were still in pieces, I knew I had to find you. How I felt about you before was the only thing I knew had to be true.

[personafalsify]

[ It doesn't set his fears to rest. And really, maybe that's a part of him that will never get better. It seems like the only time when he's not questioning what parts of his past are fabricated is when he's living a fabricated life. But not even that is a guarantee at any point. ]

... Thanks, Ion. I think... what I'm really most afraid of right now is losing you. Losing... what we have right now.

I don't want that to disappear one day like so many other things I once remembered.

[distressedude]

It won't disappear.

[He says it strongly, with as much certainty as he can muster. He knows this is something Kohan will probably be plagued with for a long time -- it's only natural given what he's lived through. That just means Ion will just have to believe strongly enough for both of them.]

I can't tell you what will happen in the future. Even if it were possible to read the future here, there'd still be no way to know for sure. But no matter what happens, the fact that we were both here... that we were together... that won't just disappear.

Even if only our hearts remember.

[personafalsify]

[ Yeah you know what Ion.

You're getting pulled into a hug now.

A manly hug full of manly manfeels and testosterone and all that. But a hug. ]

[distressedude]

[The hug happens so suddenly he barely has time to react. But when he does, he leans into it, wrapping his arms around Kohan and resting his head against his shoulder.]

[He doesn't know if the words sunk in this time or not, but he doesn't mind saying them over and over until they do. It was just how he really felt, after all.]

[personafalsify]

[ "Sunk in" is probably the wrong word for it, since it's going to be a long time until he believes those words. But it certainly strikes a chord with him. A powerful, painful chord that brings up far too many memories of people no longer in Luceti.

He doesn't want to lose Ion as well. ]

... Just... give me a moment.

[ A moment to feel that Ion's really here, with him. Even if it won't take too long before the memories of today, too, are fretted over and worried about, for now he wants to feel secure that this is something real. ]

[distressedude]

[Ion doesn't let go. He had no intention of pulling away, even before Kohan said something.]

I'm here. [His voice is soft, barely a whisper in Kohan's ear.] Take all the time you need.

[personafalsify]

[ It scares him that he knows he'll worry about this being fake. He can feel it right now, in this moment, that it's really happening. But this moment has to end, and then all that will be left of it are memories. Memories that can be forged and faked, shuffled around to create something entirely different from the truth until he isn't even sure which way is up anymore. That fear was something heavy and oppressive that he just can't get rid of.

In many ways, it's a part of who he is.

He may not be Riku anymore, but he's still Riku's replica.

But he knows this moment has to end, so he slowly lets go of Ion. ]

... Maybe I should put another movie on.

[ To get his mind off of this. ]

[distressedude]

I think that's a great idea. [With a smile, as he keeps one hand on Kohan's back even as he pulls away.] It's still early, after all. We have plenty of time for another one.

[Though they could spend the whole night watching movies together and Ion wouldn't mind at all. They've probably done it at least once before. They weren't like anything they had back on Auldrant, after all, so he found them so interesting!]

[personafalsify]

Yeah.

[ He hesitates for a moment, then stands up and grabs a random one from the shelf. ]

... Pretty sure this is one of Ven's. What do you think?

[ He holds out the movie so Ion can take a look. It's a pretty generic-looking romantic comedy. ]